When the Parenting Advice You Read on the Internet is Bull$

Again, another post on parenting:

So I was just reading an article someone posted in a parenting group that claims giving kids timeouts is bad--in fact, any form of punishment is bad.

A few weeks ago before we took the Babe on her first plane ride, I bought her one of those bookbag harnesses so that she would not wander too far away from us, just in case. A few days later I read a few articles on why these "baby leashes" are a bad idea. And then there was this segment on the Today Show.

Articles tout the merits of breastfeeding, then lament the pitfalls of doing it on demand. Other articles deride mothers who send their children to day care before six months of age even though most working mothers barely have enough paid leave to stay away from work for more than three weeks. I once read an article that argued whether maternity leave was necessary since mothers have access to breast pumps (covered by insurance, just like those two days spent in the hospital after popping the kid out).

I am sure that I could find an article that encourages parents to leave their children in the backyard to be raised by wild deer, supported by the quotes of so-called experts who would claim that deer have a better track record of raising offspring than human beings. Yep, tell that to the dead fawn carcass you drove by last week...

ALL OF THIS IS BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. BULL to the S to the H to the I to the capitol letter T to the third power!!!

I have been a parent for a little over one year. My sweet, darling little cherub of a child destroys books, bullies younger children, and has trained her father to let her do whatever she wants. She bites when she get frustrated, laughs when I sign different commands at her, and is generally a certifiable nut case. So all forms of punishment are bad? Cool beans. Inbox me your address and I will gladly send her over for a play date.

Mind you, I am not complaining about my kid. I love her to the moon and back and would not trade her for anything, not even a mild-mannered version covered in chocolate and whipped cream.

But umm, yeah you can kiss my bumper with any advice to reason with a pint-sized master manipulator-manipulatrix. No one is going to raise a perfect child. Our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents raised us just fine without the benefit of all these expert opinions circulating on the internet and most of us are fine. Sure, we have issues that require a little therapy or maybe a lot of Jesus to manage, but so did everyone who came before us.

Bad parenting advice will result in your child being featured as the lead story on the evening news, worse in a chalk outline, or much worse dancing on a pole. Not one of these folks offering opinions on what is best has the slightest clue what you endure on a daily basis from that sweet little maniac in the other room. Remember, these same folks coined the phrased affluenza.

And that is my rant for the day. My break is almost over; the kid will be back soon...